That’s a terrible headline I just couldn’t resist as Nick Green knocked in the winning run for the Yankees in the bottom of the ninth to give them a meaningless 7-6 win over the visiting Indians. Heck, I’ll probably never have another occasion to use it.

Lineup:

S – Melky Cabrera (CF)
R – Jason Lane (LF)
R – Morgan Ensberg (DH)
R – Alex Rodriguez (3B)
L – Jason Giambi (1B)
R – Shelley Duncan (RF)
L – Robinson Cano (2B)
S – Wilson Betemit (SS)
R – Jose Molina (C)

Pitchers: Chien-Ming Wang, Scott Patterson, Darrell Rasner

Subs: Cody Ransom (PR/1B), Bernie Castro (2B), Alberto Gonzalez (SS), Nick Green (PR/3B), Chad Moeller (C), Greg Porter (RF), Brett Gardner (CF), Justin Christian (LF), Kyle Anson (DH)

Opposition: Cleveland’s starters and ace C.C. Sabathia.

Big Hits: A monster two-run homer by Shelley Duncan (1 for 3) off Sabathia, Duncan’s third tater of the spring. Doubles by Jose Molina (1 for 3), Chad Moeller (1 for 1), and Kyle Anson (1 for 1). Alex Rodriguez was 2 for 3.

Who Pitched Well: Scott Patterson just keeps getting it done, this time getting five outs from four hitters by entering with runners on in the fifth and inducing an inning-ending double play, then pitching a 1-2-3 sixth, striking out one. Patterson has allowed just one baserunner in six innings this spring, striking out five. He and Billy Traber are the only pitchers still in camp who have yet to allow a run this spring, though even Traber has allowed a few inherited runners to score.

Who Didn’t: Working in his slider and changeup, Chien-Ming Wang struck out seven men in 4 1/3 innings, but also allowed four runs on six hits and two walks and four of the other six outs he induced came in the air. Darrell Rasner allowed two runs on five hits and a walk in three innings. Both Wang and Ranser allowed solo home runs to Grady Sizemore, who now has five on the spring.

Leaders: There’s not much else to say about today’s game, so for yucks, here are some of the statistical leaders in Yankee camp thus far:

Hitters:

AVG: Alex Rodriguez .500
OBP: Alex Rodriguez .571
SLG: Alex Rodriguez 1.000
Hits: Robinson Cano 15
2B: Johnny Damon, Morgan Ensberg 5
3B: Jason Lane, Brett Gardner, Greg Porter 1
HR: Alex Rodriguez, Shelley Duncan 3
RBI: Shelley Duncan 11
R: Alex Rodriguez, Shelley Duncan 8
TB: Alex Rodriguez 24
BB: Bobby Abreu 6
K: Wilson Betemit, Morgan Ensberg 9
SB: Brett Gardner 6
CS: Bernie Castro, Kyle Anson, Francisco Cervelli 1

Pitchers (not including Sunday’s game, as Sunday began the fourth time through the rotation):

ERA: Scott Patterson, LaTroy Hawkins 0.00
ERA (min 1 GS): Ian Kennedy 3.00
Unearned Runs: Ross Olendorf 3
W: Phil Hughes 2
L: Jeff Karstens 2
K: Jonathan Albaladejo 8
BB: Joba Chamberlain, Darrell Rasner 6
H: Jeff Karstens 12
HR: Ian Kennedy 3
HBP: Joba Chamberlain, Jonathan Albaladejo, Andy Pettitte, Heath Phillips, Edwar Ramirez 1
SV: Scott Patterson, Billy Traber, Mark Melancon 1
BLSV: Jonathan Albaladejo 2