Exciting news, sports fans: the Yankees have claimed RH reliever Brian Schlitter from the Cubs. I can’t remember who Chicago was playing at the time – maybe the Mets, possibly the Dodgers – but I remember taking note of Schlitter during a game last season and thinking that the announcer, whoever he was, ought to be going very, very carefully.
I would like to start brainstorming now in preparation for the coming season. On Twitter, SNY’s own @OGTedBerg has already offered up “It’s a Schlitt Storm!” and “This game has gone down the Schlitter.” @d_limonene suggested the phrase “Schlitt the bed.” To which I would also like to add:
HorseSchlitt.
Anyway, one day — maybe in April, maybe July, possibly September — John Sterling is going to slip up on this, and it is going to be beautiful. Yes, apparently I’m 12 tonight.
Move over Rusty Kuntz!
OK.... this is important.
I rely on the collective intelligence and wit of the Banter.
What if Schlitter's first name was ______________ ?
[1]
Bull?
[0]
If they make him a starter, he could pitch a "no-schlitter"!
The fat head on the radio will be happy when the Schlitt hits the Fan.
You have got to be Schlitting me.
At least he's not a lefty
[1] Harry?
Hilarious Emma. I nearly Shlitt myself.
"Ya know, Susan, it seem like Shlitter's a bit stiff today. Perhaps he hasn't had time to loosen up."
Anyway, nice move by Cashman.
[1] Jack?
HOLY SCHLITT!!!
I love you guys.
If he trained with Gaylord Perry we could get great "Schilter's Spitter" headlines too.
Regardless of his ability AT the plate, when he undoubtedly gets released, he'll be our "Designated Schlitter"
Is Schlitter on Twitter?
Is he constipated, cause I hear he has a great back-up slider.
He is one of the few players in today's game to still have a stool in front of his locker.
Speaking of which, would Dulcolax be considered a PED for him?
For Schlitter, every opposing batter is his enema.
I have a feeling that if he doesn't pitch well, the Yanks may suggest a Bartolo Colonscopy.
(I'm here all week ... try the Bob Veale).
The Yanks MUST now acquire THIS guy to locker next to Schlitter.
http://www.bronxbanterblog.com/2011/01/03/baseball-player-name-of-the-week-9/
(yes, I'm 12 years old too) :-)
Anagrams of Brian Schlitter include:
Belch irritants
Isn't crab Hitler
Rich, silent brat
In rectal births
Birth rectal sin
Brain retch list
You know how various parts of the game are now promoted by various companies, like the "AT&T call to the bull pen"?
I suggest that the Yankees make a deal with Metamucil.
A beer endorsement? -- has to be Schlitz!
[0] So many options:
* "Girardi is going to the Schlitter."
* "The Yankees breathe a huge sigh of relief after the performance by Schlitter."
* "Schlitter has exploded."
* "Schlitter has made a mess of this game."
* "Schlitter brings nothing but pain."
* "Schlitter can't stop the (opposing team's) runs."
* "Schlitter is throwing nothing but ... junk."
Question, and the linguistic pro that Diane is, she may be best served to answer: would the past tense form of his appearances be "Schlat"?
[1] It's obvious what you're trying to obtain, but I had to give it ten seconds of thought and conclude that even I wouldn't go there >;)
[17]
Yeah, I'd go with "Schlat" ...
people who don't clean up after their dogs should be fined for schlittering, because that's precisely what it is.
John Schterling: Sheesh, Schushan, Schlitter's getting schlaughtered out there.
Shushan Waldman: He schure is, John. Schuppose we'll schoon schee schomeone warming up to replacshe him?
John Schterling: Yesh, indeed, Schusan and then we can schtop talking like thisch.
Can't wait to see who makes the Schlit-list (K's?)
If he was drafted, they could say:
"In the 3rd round, the Yankees took a Schlitt."
And oh boy... nobody could accuse us of being bored.