"A New York Treasure" --Village Voice

The Smallest Nation

Who? Jack. What? A Golden Retriever out for his morning walk. Evidence of Delusion? None, he’s a dog.

After walking past my boys playing in the yard and receiving a gentle pat on the back and big smiles, Jack sidestepped to the nearest tree and lifted his leg. He looked back over his shoulder to make sure we were watching.

His owner, trailing the scene, stopped next to me. “I think it was your hat.”

Yankee Snark: “Joke’s on Jack. The guy who owns that tree is a Sox fan.”

4 comments

1 ms october   ~  Aug 4, 2011 1:18 pm

haha jack thought he was so smart. guess not. but apples, trees, even ones peed on.

2 Sliced Bread   ~  Aug 4, 2011 3:44 pm

Research has proven 99.7% of Red Sox fans pee outdoors 100% of the time, and do not lift their leg, or stand upwards when they urinate. Even the males tend to squat. So, Jack's an extremely rare breed.

3 Sliced Bread   ~  Aug 4, 2011 3:58 pm

Research has also proven the sight of Papelbon preparing to throw a pitch causes 100% of canine Red Sox fans to hump their owners' couches. Veterinary science has yet to reveal the cause of this phenomenon, but it's suspected that Papelbon's curled-lip sneer triggers a mating call that only dogs can hear.

All of this information is on the internet, my friends. You can look it up.

4 RIYank   ~  Aug 4, 2011 6:58 pm

The Yankees are playing five games under their Pythagorean estimate. Sox are almost right on theirs (a fraction under). I expect us to catch them.

Local* pundits are divided over whether A-Gon or Ellsbury is the AL MVP. They also think the Red Sox pitching staff is a lot better than the Yankees. I find it amazing that nobody thinks the fact that the Red Sox have given up 38 more runs than the Yankees casts some doubt on the pitching. (It's hard to overestimate how bad Lackey has been -- much, much worse than AJ, if you can imagine such a thing.)

* When I say 'local', please keep in mind that I am in RSN, and in the smallest state, so I'm uniquely qualified to comment in this thread. Just ask me anything.

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"This ain't football. We do this every day."
--Earl Weaver