I’ve often bemoaned the disappearance of creative and original nicknames from today’s major league scene. “Jeet” for Derek Jeter, or “A-Rod” for Alex Rodriguez are not real nicknames; they’re merely abbreviations that tell us nothing about a player’s personality, his history, or his style of play. A similar fate has befallen nicknames given to teams of specific years or eras. Outside of the detestable “Idiots” nickname given the 2004 Red Sox or the “Moneyball” appellation given to the A’s (more of a reflection of philosophy than team), I can think of few recent instances where teams have earned colorful side names for something other than commercial purposes.

In contrast, baseball history is chock-a-block with inspired and colorful nicknames for some memorable teams. Here is a list of some of the best ever, including two incarnations of some great Yankees teams.

“Murderers’ Row:” 1927-1928 New York Yankees: No team nickname has matched the fame of “Murderers’ Row,” which actually originated as a 19th century reference to an isolated row of prison cells featuring some of the worst criminals of the infamous Tombs prison.  The baseball version of Murderers’ Row included four future Hall of Famers—Earle Combs (batting leadoff), Babe Ruth (batting third), Lou Gehrig (in the cleanup spot), and the often overlooked Tony Lazzeri (batting sixth). The ’27 Yankees didn’t receive much punch from the bottom of the order, where weak links like third baseman Jumping Joe Dugan and catcher Pat Collins resided, but the top six batters in the lineup almost always did the damage of nine full men.

“The Gas House Gang:” 1934-1939 St. Louis Cardinals: This name originated with a neighborhood on the lower east side of Manhattan, where a violent group of young men tormented citizens and came to call themselves the “Gashouse Gang.” The Cardinals’ version of the “Gang” wasn’t quite as vicious as the street thugs, but they did feature a number of ruffians, including infielders Leo Durocher and Pepper Martin, outfielder Joe “Ducky” Medwick, and ace pitcher Dizzy Dean. The Cardinals of that era played a hard-nosed brand of ball, sliding hard into bases, knocking over opposing defenders, and rarely backing away from on-field brawls. Off the field, they were often just as wild, as they laid waste to hotels and restaurants with a series of pranks and practical jokes.

“Whiz Kids:” 1950 Philadelphia Phillies: Coming out of nowhere to win the National League pennant, Eddie Sawyer’s “Kids” featured a day-to-day lineup of players almost exclusively under the age of 30. The oldest regular was 30-year-old first baseman Eddie Waitkus, but the stars were 23-year-old Hall of Famer Richie Ashburn and the 25-year-old Del Ennis. The starting rotation was also headlined by two youngsters, Robin Roberts and Curt Simmons, whose combined total of wins (37) nearly matched their collective age (44).

“Big Red Machine:” 1969-1976 Cincinnati Reds: Some newspapers and magazines began to refer to Cincinnati’s dynamic offensive team as the “Big Red Machine” as early as 1969 and ’70, but the name really caught on when the franchise steamrolled the rest of the majors in winning the ’75 and ’76 World Championships. That mid-1970s run included a four-game annihilation of the Yankees, a series that too often seemed like Thurman Munson battling alone against Cincinnati’s entire 25-man roster. The Machine’s cast of characters changed significantly from 1969 to 1976, with Lee May, Tommy Helms, and Bobby Tolan eventually giving way to George Foster, Joe Morgan, and Ken Griffey Sr. The constants were Hall of Fame talents Johnny Bench, Tony Perez, and Pete Rose, though both Perez and Rose switched positions in mid-stream; Perez moved from third base to first, and Rose, the Hall of Fame exile, went from right field to left field to third base. Combining power and speed, few teams in history have matched the offensive potency of “The Machine.”

“Pittsburgh Lumber Company:” 1970-1976 Pittsburgh Pirates: The Lumber Company name didn’t really take hold until the mid-1970s, but in retrospect, the 1971 world championship team should be included. Using a free-swinging approach that might not have been fully appreciated by some Sabermetricians, the Pirates pummeled their way to five division titles, one pennant, and a World Championship during the first half of the decade. Other than Willie Stargell and Bob Robertson, the “Lumber Company” didn’t like to take walks, which they generally regarded as unmanly. Instead, Roberto Clemente, Al Oliver, Manny Sanguillen, and Rennie Stennett preferred to swing the bat early and often, and they did it well, banging a parade of singles and doubles in a constant barrage against opposing pitching staffs. When you can hit as well as those guys did, the swing-first philosophy does work.

“The F-Troop:” 1973-1974 Atlanta Braves: The Braves’ bench players came to call themselves the “F-Troop,” in reference to the popular TV show that starred Ken Berry and Forrest Tucker. Although the Braves finished fifth and third, respectively, in 1973 and ’74, they did have some productive players in reserve. In 1973, backup catcher-first baseman Dick Dietz hit .295 while drawing an amazing 49 walks against only 25 strikeouts. Reserve first baseman Frank Tepedino, a former Yankee,  hit .295 with 29 RBIs. And utilityman Chuck Goggin (a veteran of the Vietnam War) batted .289 while showing the versatility to both catch and play shortstop. Without Dietz and Goggin, who were rather mysteriously cut loose the next season, the bench wasn’t nearly as productive in ’74, resulting in a quick fadeaway for the F-Troop nickname.

“The Southside Hitmen:” 1977 Chicago White Sox: The ’77 White Sox of Bob Lemon finished no better than third in the American League West, couldn’t field a lick, and had the third-worst pitching in the league, but still managed to win 90 games while creating a legacy that makes them one of the most beloved Sox teams in memory. The hard-hitting, stone-gloved lineup featured Jorge Orta at second, Eric Soderholm at third, Ralph Garr in left, Richie Zisk in right, and Oscar Gamble at DH, all the while wearing those awful black and white throwback uniforms that featured collared shirts of the “untuckable” variety. Finishing second in the league in runs scored, the “Hitmen” made the summer of ’77 a fun one in the Windy City—and a final legacy to aging owner Bill Veeck.

“The Bronx Zoo:” 1977-1979 New York Yankees: This nickname became popular because of the book of the same name written by Sparky Lyle and Peter Golenbock. “The Bronx Zoo” served as a perfect description of a team where arguments took place on a daily basis, players fought in the showers (Cliff Johnson vs. Goose Gossage), the team’s center fielder (Mickey “Gozzlehead” Rivers) spoke in a language all his own, and Lyle himself routinely sat on birthday cakes delivered to the clubhouse.  (He also did something unmentionable to some cakes, too.) It was all in a day’s work with the Yankees of the late seventies.

“Riders of the Lonesome Pine:” 1981 Detroit Tigers: The Tigers finished out of the playoff money during the 1981 split season and the bench players really were nothing special in terms of talent or production, but they deserve credit for coming up with one of the most colorful nicknames for a backup squad of journeymen and vagabonds. “The Riders” included the wacky (catcher Johnny Wockenfuss and that wonderful leg-crossing batting stance), the obscure (infielders Ron Jackson, Stan Papi, and current Yankee coach Mick Kelleher), and the forgotten (outfielders Lynn Jones and Ricky Peters).

“Harvey’s Wallbangers:” 1982-1983 Milwaukee Brewers: This nickname was a natural, given the first name of manager Harvey Kuenn and the team’s ability to hit home runs at a moment’s notice. Stormin’ Gorman Thomas led the American League with 39 home runs in 1982, while Cecil Cooper and Ben Oglivie also cracked the 30-home run barrier. As much power as the Brewers had, they didn’t rely solely on the long ball. They had plenty of poor hitters, from Hall of Famers Paul Molitor and Robin Yount to the chronically underrated Ted Simmons. Two other Hall of Famers, Don Sutton and Rollie Fingers, contributed to an underrated pitching staff that also featured grubby veterans like Mike Caldwell and Pete Vuckovich.  The “Wallbangers” advanced to the seventh game of the 1982 World Series, but fell back in ‘83, finishing fifth in a stacked American League East. They didn’t have much staying power, but they still managed to leave a sizeable impression…

Could Nick Swisher be the new Paul O’Neill? Ever since O’Neill’s retirement, which coincided with that memorable 2001 World Series against the Diamondbacks, the Yankees have lacked a regular position player who displayed large doses of emotion and passion on the playing field. The fiery O’Neill did it with an angry temper that often bubbled to the surface over a failed at-bat or a mental error in the outfield. Swisher does it with a more positive energy, a constant chatter in the dugout and a general exuberance that celebrates on-field success. On a team that is sometimes too professional and businesslike, Swisher’s on-field swagger is a welcome contrast.

In terms of their talent, Swisher and O’Neill are different kinds of players. Swisher has more pure power and an incredible level of patience that leads to bushels of walks; O’Neill used a line-drive approach and had better defensive skills along with a stronger throwing arm. But at the time they were acquired by the Yankees, O’Neill and Swisher were similar in stature and value; they were both good but flawed players. O’Neill was 29 at the time that he joined the Yankees in the Roberto Kelly trade, but he became a better player in his thirties than he was in his twenties. He improved his hitting against left-handed pitching and learned to use the entire field with a slashing, gap-filling swing. Swisher is 28, and perhaps on the verge of a similar jump in career impact. With the influence of the right batting coach and manager, Swisher could become slightly more aggressive at the plate, cut down on his strikeouts, and blossom into the kind of All-Star outfielder the A’s once foresaw.

Swisher does face one obstacle that O’Neill didn’t. When O’Neill joined the Yankees in 1993, he inherited an everyday outfield job, as he split his time between right and left field. Swisher is currently the Yankees’ fourth outfielder, behind Xavier Nady on Joe Girardi’s depth chart. But I have a feeling that will change soon. Swisher’s three-hit, five-RBI performance against the Orioles on Thursday, including his first Yankee home run, looks like a harbinger of good things to come. I believe that Nick Swisher is here to stay…

Finally, an important baseball person stepped aside this week, thought his retirement failed to make any national headlines. On Monday, Hall of Fame chief curator Ted Spencer officially announced his retirement after 27 years on the job. Ted brought charisma and a lively personality to the position, sprinkled with a keen sense of humor and, as Hall of Fame colleagues know very well, a penchant for salty language. Among his many achievements, two of Ted’s accomplishments stand out. He helped develop the Hall of Fame’s Grandstand Theater, which has become the home of the popular 13-minute highlight film called “The Baseball Experience.” Ted also conceived the idea for a “Women in Baseball” exhibit, centered on the previously obscure All-American Girls Professional Baseball League. The exhibit opened in 1986, drawing a crowd of over a thousand on a day that usually drew a few hundred, and eventually became an iconic fixture at the Museum. When Penny Marshall learned about the exhibit, it spawned the idea for a nice little film called A League of Their Own, part of which was filmed in Cooperstown.

For those legacies, the Hall of Fame owes a lot to the career of Ted Spencer. Thankfully, Ted will remain a part of the Cooperstown community, as he and his wife maintain their village residence. Yes, we’ll still be able to hear those colorful expletives as they fly down Main Street.

Bruce Markusen writes “Cooperstown Confidential” for MLBlogs at MLB.com.