Joba replaces Qualls, Mcgehee replaces Peña.
That has to be good.

Yeah... but tonight's lineup looks like a Spring training lineup.

Marlins Tried To Unload Carlos Lee

By Tim Dierkes [July 31 at 5:05pm CST]

5:05pm: Two teams told ESPN.com's Jayson Stark that the Marlins thought they had traded Lee to the Yankees today (Twitter link). However, Lee wouldn't waive his no-trade clause.

http://www.mlbtraderumors.com/2012/07/marlins-trying-to-unload-carlos-lee.html

It's good Qualls is gone. Although he'll likely pitch well in Pittsburgh like every other ex-Yankee of late. As for McGehee, how many weak hitters are we going to fill in this lineup? Might as well just give CC a bat on his off days.

[4] McGehee is a backup. He'll replace Peña. Admittedly this is not as much of an upgrade as replacing Chad Qualls with nobody, but it's a big offensive addition.

Also, Carlos Lee, seriously? He hits like Ichiro and fields like Papi.

My favorite story of the day doesn't involve a trade. Ryan Sweeney is done for the year, having punched some concrete and broken a knuckle. I've always enjoyed a good Ryan Sweeney story.

Apeneck Sweeney spreads his knees
Letting his arms hang down to laugh,
The zebra stripes along his jaw
Swelling to maculate giraffe.

Gloomy Orion and the Dog
Are veiled; and hushed the shrunken seas;
The person in the Spanish cape
Tries to sit on Sweeney’s knees...

Efficient.

Again, while we could have used a decent upgrade, I trust in Cashman that nothing worthwhile was available. Our lineup sans ARod and Teix is ugly. I'll settle for .500 ball until Teix returns.

[8] You're out of your mind. I bet it's the third best line-up in MLB, once Peña is out of there.

[8] Heh.
You were just baiting them, right?

Take that, slump. Robbie!

Old Yank Fan, Chris Tillman is on the phone. He wants to know more about the ugly Bombers' line-up.

Way to go, Wheels.

Uuuuuuugly. Ugly line-up.

But OYF, you forgot that Peña only has to bat once each inning.

Sox load the bases against Verlander in the first inning.

Verlander whiffs Saltalamacchia to get out of the jam.

[12] Tell Chris next time he pitches, we will play our MLB lineup.
A win would be nice here.

No! Damn. I was fully expecting him to strike out Reynolds...

FFS NOVA. You're given 5 friggin' runs and give back 3 right away. Dammit!

What happened? He threw eight straight strikes, right past some good hitters, and then imploded.

Well, David is the biggest batter of the game. Here we go!

boooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Good god.

UN
FUCKING
BELEIVABLE.
Good night folks.

The only 5 minutes of Yankee baseball I get to see for two weeks is this horseshit?

Don't worry everybody, remember, Ivan Nova "knows how to win"!

Right now Nova's serving up more meatballs than an Ikea outlet ...

Wow, do we even have a long man tonight? Phelps went a couple yesterday. This is ... just pathetic.

Well, at least we'll likely get to see the Hut pitch tonight ...

Wow. Peña should DH.

Is there any reason to continue watching this game?

[30] I guess [28]

That "he just knows how to win ... he knows how to win" was for *you*, Alex!

why keep a pitcher in the game, when all he is doing is giving up runs and making it tougher for the Yanks to come back?

Yeah, it's going to be *that* kind of night ... Ole!

Has anyone seen any of the Olympics? In this country they refuse to show any event, or even a replay, unless a Japanese athlete is participating.

I wanted to see that Chinese swimmer, Ye. Can't find a replay anywhere. The IOC seems to have a lock down on video content. I suppose I will have to try the black market if I wan to enjoy the "Olympic spirit."

Just clearly heard Swisher yell, "fuck!"

[35] Yeah, use a proxy and tap into the BBC broadcasts ...

Remember *last* year, when Russell Martin wasn't a complete fucking disaster at the plate?

Yeah, me too ...

[37] Good idea.

This line-up is looking a lot more like Seattle's since Ichiro came over.

The Safeco Curse?

I'm working on a theory that the Yankees play better when I'm not watching. Let's test it. I'm going to go make some coffee and read the newspaper.

[40] I blame me for the slide ... ever since I decided to get MLB.tv again, the team has been awful.

Of course, that coincided with Ichiro!'s first game, so maybe its a toss up ...

Hey Curtis, how about you let that slop-shit slider hit you and take a fucking base instead of striking out and sitting down?

Maybe?

This team wouldn't know situational hitting if it showed up naked at the clubhouse door and beat them to death with a hobo ...

Good job, @bindergirardi!

To paraphrase the original Joker, this team needs an enema ...

[46] Well, original modern Joker ... well, at least the original Joker for me, since I didn't read the comics or watch the TV show ...

Oh, fer fuck's sake, Showalter, the pinch-hitting appearance of Jayson Nix with the bases empty with a 5 run lead prompts a pitching change?!?!?

WTF???

Alright, I'm done with dinner ... and done with this disasterbacle of a game.

I'm back. Well, there goes that theory out the window.

truly unfortunate that we lost this game in the 2nd inning.

And lose a second straight game to a team that has been out scored by 57 runs

[47] Cesar Romero was the best.

Although, I suppose Heath Ledger turned out the best single performance....in the humorless Batman series.

Ichiro must be thinking, WTF did I get myself into?

I will wrap with the words of the immortal Danny Glover:

"I'm getting too old for this shit."