I feel like that title’s probably been used before, but all my Easter puns were in rather poor taste.

Joba Chamberlain made his first start of the season this afternoon, finally giving fans something to talk about besides his efforts to butter up arresting officers while drunk, and thank god for that. He pitched a somewhat rocky but ultimately effective six innings, giving up three runs, but only one earned (thanks to a late and just correction from the official scorer). The Yankees rallied from 3-1 to take a 4-3 lead in the seventh, but the bullpen couldn’t hold it, and the Royals came back from the dead salvaged the final game of the series, winning 6-4.

Mark Teixeira was out today again with a sore wrist that they’re (for now) calling tendonitis, which sent me and, I’m sure, thousands of others scurrying to WebMD. Not that helpful, though as usual I picked out four or five new fatal diseases I could conceivably have.  Anyway, with Teixeira out and Posada and Damon resting, the Yankees didn’t put forth their strongest lineup – Gardner leading off, Melky in left, Molina behind the plate, and of course Cody Ransom still at third, doing all he can to make sure Yankees fans properly appreciate and respect the talents of Alex Rodriguez.

In the top of the first Brett Gardner singled, stole second, moved to third on a groundout, and then dashed home on a wild pitch that never got all that far from catcher John Buck — manufacturing a run with that speed we’ve been hearing so much about. Said David Cone, who I think is developing a bit of a man-crush: “There’s no hitch in that giddyup!”

After that first inning, Gil Meche settled down in a big way and once again made me feel like an idiot for having made so much fun of that signing. He allowed scattered hits here and there but kept the Yankees from putting anything together for the next five innings.  Meanwhile, Chamberlain started off great, with two super-efficient 1-2-3 innings, before allowing a solid John Buck homer to left in the third inning. But his biggest struggles came in the fourth, as he got himself into a hole with a walk and a hit batter. He managed two outs, but then Alberto Callaspo reached on a Nick Swisher error (inexplicably scored a hit at first), and new Joba nemesis John Buck singled DeJesus and Teahen home. It was 3-1 KC.

By this time Meche was in his groove, and the Yankee offense sputtered for a couple innings They finally broke through in the seventh: Swisher and Matsui each swung at Meche’s first offering and singled; Nady doubled Swisher in; Cano reached on an error while Matsui came home; and finally Melky Cabrera’s second double play of the game was good for an RBI. Okay, so it wasn’t exactly an overwhelming show of force, but it looked like it was going to get the job done. Brian Bruney pitched a strong seventh, too.

So it seemed the Yanks had resurrected staged their comeback – but after Damaso Marte’s two outs in the eighth, things fell apart for the bullpen. Joe Girardi was making a lot of moves, searching for most advantageous matchup, and I’m sure he’s going to be heavily criticized for that, because why bother when you’ve got God Mariano Rivera available? I wonder if the Yankees have specific health-related reasons for not wanting to use Mo more than one inning, in which case Girardi’s moves wouldn’t seem all that unreasonable to me — as Dolly Parton once sang, “Well, it looked good on paper” — but who knows.

Anyway, it went like this: Billy Butler pinch  hit for lefty Jacobs, so Girardi swapped out Marte for Jose Veras, who promptly gave up a walk. Then Phil Coke came in to face Brayan “[Sic]” Pena, who promptly tied the game with a double. Callaspo singled, and John “Yankee Killer” Buck doubled, and the Royals had a two-run lead that Joakim Soria, who is a serious badass, had no trouble nailing down securing. Afterwards Coke, who looks about 17, wore an expression that suggested he was barely suppressing the urge to hurl himself off the nearest tall building. Somebody please give that kid a Cadbury Creme egg and a hug.

The Yanks are off to Tampa, and I’m off to do my taxes. Actually, I wouldn’t take a Cadbury Creme egg or a hug amiss right now either.

Today’s news is powered by a nice video tribute to Lou Gehrig:

• Let’s start with 2 trivia questions (only one Yankee-related).  1) Who was the first pitcher to win a Gold Glove and a Silver Slugger in the same season? 2) Who was the last player to hit into four DPs in one game.  (answer at the end of the column)
• Kat O’Brien of Newsday notes how close the Yanks came to NOT getting Mark Teixeira:

Up and down the Yankees’ organization, from Johnny Damon and Jorge Posada to Joe Girardi and Hal Steinbrenner, the sentiment on Mark Teixeira early in the offseason was that he would be playing elsewhere in 2009.

Steinbrenner, the last word in ownership, had the power to change that if he wanted to sign Teixeira. But the Yankees were locked in on pitching, to the point that Teixeira was not on the agenda.

“Teixeira never was really an option,” Cashman said. “It was something I kept pushing, but it was not really being accepted by above me . . . I guess persistence paid off. I knocked on that door, I guess, just enough that someone finally answered. Hal really gave me the OK to pursue it over a few-day period. And at that point, I still thought the Red Sox were getting him.”

• Bob Klapisch has seen A.J. Burnett, and likes what he sees:

A tough, John Wayne-type, Burnett doesn’t do team therapy, and he stops short of calling himself an ace, but talent evaluators will nevertheless tell you the 32-year-old right-hander is by far the Yankees’ most intimidating pitcher.

Burnett has the stuff (96-mph heat), the guts (he threw that decisive curve with the bases loaded and a full count) and the stoic nature to lead the Yankees. He’s quiet, but not in a meek, Chien-Ming Wang sort of way. Fierce, but not on the dangerous roller coaster that Kevin Brown used to ride.

• Joel Sherman has some thoughts on the Captain:

It is only three games, but Derek Jeter has seemed to think more like a leadoff hitter in this go-around in the spot. He has shown a greater willingness to work the count. His career norm is to see about 3.7 pitches per at-bat, but that is 4.1 so far this year and what has stood out is a few at-bats where he was down in the count quickly and still generated a long turn at-bat.

The other element that has stood out with Jeter is that he has seemed to lose a step or two running to first base. He has hit some slow rollers that memory suggests he beat out in the past and now he was clearly out at first base.

• Meanwhile, PeteAbe is similarly concerned about Hideki Matsui:

Hideki Matsui is 1 for 14. That one hit was a home run, but still.

I know it’s only four games, but is this a concern? He’s also running to first base like he needs a walker.

[My take: So we’ve got our own version of Edgar Martinez?]

• PeteAbe does have some happier news . . .:

The bullpen over the last three games: 10 innings 0 hits, 0 runs, 3 walks, 12 strikeouts.

• Alex Rodriguez update . . . (absolutely no mirror-preening included):

Alex Rodriguez is to resume baseball activities Monday, more than a month following hip surgery on March 9.

The third baseman has been working out in Vail, Colo., since the operation. The Yankees start a three-game series Monday at the AL champion Tampa Bay Rays, and Yankees manager Joe Girardi said the three-time AL MVP will resume swinging a bat after he reports to the team’s minor league complex.

Girardi said Friday that Rodriguez has been swinging a broom for the past few weeks and slowly increasing his workload.

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Well, I guess this is what happens when you forget to smear lamb’s blood over the bat rack.

Why on all other nights during the year does Chien-Ming Wang’s sinker sink, but tonight it is straight down the middle?

Hmmmm, no, doesn’t quite work. How about: The maror, or bitter herbs, symbolize the bitterness of leaving a metric ton of runners on base in two consecutive games….

Or: And Mark Teixeira went unto the Orioles pitchers, and spake thus: let my left-handed swing go, that it may serve the Yankees; and if you refuse to let it go, I will smite all thy borders with… uh, frogs —

Ah, screw it. The Orioles beat the Yankees 7-5 tonight, in a game that wasn’t actually as close as that makes it sound (until suddenly it was). Needless to say it is far to early to fret, let alone worry, let alone panic, but this wasn’t what you’d call a gem of a game. Chien Ming Wang was not himself; Ken Singleton said he wasn’t “getting on top of his sinker,” which is what announcers always say on those rare occasions when Wang starts chucking meatballs down the middle. Japanese pitcher Koji Uehara, formerly Hideki Matsui’s teammate on the Yomiuri Giants, took the mound for the O’s, and while I wasn’t exactly awed by him, he did get the job done. The Yankees’ unleavened (sorry) offense sputtered for most of the game, eking out a run here and there before rousing itself in the ninth – too little too late, but still a somewhat more positive note to end on.

Wang allowed two runs in the first inning on three consecutive doubles, then semi-fooled me with a 1-2-3 second, and squeaked out of trouble in the third. The Yankees scored their first run in the fourth, when Cody Ransom doubled in Xavier Nady, and in general they seemed to be putting together some more impressive at-bats and maybe gathering a little momentum. But things fell apart for Wang in the bottom of the inning – Scott singled, Pie walked, Zaun doubled, Roberts singled, sac fly, home run from Nick Markakis (now hitting .714 on the season) – you get the idea. When the smoke cleared, the Yankees were down 7-1 and Edwar Ramirez was in the game.

Derek “D-Cline” Jeter had a strong night, 2-for-4 in the end with a walk; Posada looked good on a strong double, and scored the Yankees’ second run in the sixth inning, when Cano doubled him home. Mark Teixeira, however, was having tougher time: going into the ninth he was 0-for-4, and so 0-for-8 in his brief Yankees career. And while, obviously, this is completely meaningless two games in, I was still a little worried that it was going to become A Thing – that fans and media would focus on it, laser-like, until some kind of obsessive watch for the first hit developed, and maybe a mental block, and who knows.

[Side note: New York sports fans do not have the right to criticize other fans for their booing habits, ever, so I’m not saying Baltimore fans shouldn’t be booing Teixeira so intensely. They should boo whoever they want whenever they want and more power to them. However, I’m confused about the particular hostility to Teixeira, because: did anyone ever think he was actually going to end up in Baltimore? I don’t believe I heard a soul suggest that as a strong possibility. It’s like if I started booing George Clooney because he wasn’t dating me, or Mayor Bloomberg for not giving me a key to the city… I mean, these things were never even on the table, you know? No one in San Francisco is going to boo Sabathia for not giving the Giants a hometown discount, because it was a nonissue. I just feel like I’m missing something].

It was 7-2 O’s in the top of the ninth when the Yankees got their act semi-together. Gardner was on base with two outs when Jeter hit his first home run of the year, making it 7-4, and Johnny Damon walked. This brought up Teixeira in the big spot, under pressure, A-Rod-style… and he hit a nice strong double to center, and now we can stop reading about his tiny little 0-fer. Phew. Of course Matsui then popped out, so, moot point.

Tomorrow the Yankees face a largely unknown rookie with an ERA over 6, which means you can expect them to be shut out. Unless maybe A.J. Burnett parts the Orioles batters like the… well, you know.

Today’s post is powered by a classic personality pitching a (for its time) classic baseball video game:

• Edwar Ramirez has been diagnosed with mild bursitis in his right shoulder, and won’t pitch again until this weekend.
• Mariano Rivera notes that his shoulder is well on its way to full recovery:

“It’s feeling strong and now I am building muscle,” Rivera said of the shoulder, which was operated on after last season. “I have been throwing, playing long toss and it’s getting better every day.”

The next step for Rivera is to get on a bullpen mound, but he isn’t sure when that will occur.

“I don’t want to push it,” said Rivera, who vowed on the first day of spring training he would be ready by Opening Day, April 6.

• Tyler Kepner has a nice piece on Hideki Matsui’s efforts to get all the way back:

Matsui will be 35 in June, and his knees have made him a full-time designated hitter. He had surgery on his right knee after the 2007 season, then on his left knee on Sept. 22. Matsui delayed that operation so he could play in the final game at Yankee Stadium.

He stayed in the United States until December, working to strengthen the knee. In Japan, he practiced jogging on grass. He did not jog here until Monday, and he ran the bases gingerly after a round of batting practice Tuesday. He will not be ready to play when the Yankees visit the Toronto Blue Jays on Wednesday in Dunedin. …

Matsui spent 10 seasons playing his home games on artificial turf at the Tokyo Dome. At 6 feet 2 inches and 220 pounds, Matsui said he was among the bigger players in Japan and worried about damage to his knee cartilage.

“I knew there was a certain level of stress that was being put on my knees and my lower body in general,” he said. “I did have that fear that at some point, something was going to happen.” …

“I still feel I have a lot of baseball in me,” Matsui said. “Yes, I did get injured the last few years, but in terms of how I feel physically and my baseball skills, I don’t feel like I have any issues.”

• Kepner also details the positional battles to be address over the next five weeks:

With Edwar Ramirez dealing with bursitis in his right shoulder, there could be another opening in the bullpen. Mariano Rivera, Brian Bruney and Damaso Marte are locks. The Yankees will probably take a long reliever, too, which leaves three more spots from a group including Jose Veras, Phil Coke, Dave Robertson, Jonathan Albaladejo, Mark Melancon and Ramirez. …

Others who will try to squeeze onto the roster include the versatile infielder Cody Ransom (who is on the 40-man roster), and non-roster players like shortstop Angel Berroa and catcher Kevin Cash. Among the other non-roster players with major league experience include Shelley Duncan, Todd Linden and John Rodriguez.

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Powered by Moe Green, here’s the news:

• Let’s start with a good trivia question, courtesy of Jayson Stark … now that the John Smoltz-Chipper Jones tag team has been busted up after 16 years together, which pair of active teammates has played together the longest? (Answer at the end of this post)
• Newsday’s Ken Davidoff gives the reasons the Yanks would prefer to keep Swisher over Nady:

1) Swisher’s versatility. He can play both corner outfield positions and first base as well as centerfield (his weakest position). Nady plays only the corner outfield positions.

2) As a switch hitter, Swisher gives Joe Girardi more flexibility.

3) Swisher is signed through 2011 for $21 million. Nady can become a free agent after this season, and with Scott Boras as his agent, he indeed will file for free agency.

4) Although the Yankees like Nady perfectly well, they think Swisher’s upbeat, fiery personality could be an added asset.

• Over at BP.com, Shawn Hoffman details why a salary cap might actually harm lower-revenue/lower-payroll teams:

Let’s say, in some far-off universe, MLB owners and players actually did agree on a salary cap. With it would come the normal provisions: a salary floor at around 75-85 percent of the cap, and a guaranteed percentage of total industry revenues for the players. Since the players have been taking in about 45 percent of revenues the past few years, we’ll keep it at that figure …

Using 2008 as an example, the thirty teams took in about $6 billion … for an average of $200 million per team. Forty-five percent of that (the players’ share) is $90 million, which we’ll use as the midpoint between our floor and cap. If we want to make the floor 75 percent of the cap …  we can use $77 million and $103 million, respectively.

With a $103 million cap, nine teams would have been affected last year, and a total of about $286 million would have had to be skimmed off the top. Since total salaries have to remain at existing levels, the bottom twenty-one teams would have had to take on this burden, which had previously been placed on the Yankees, Red Sox, et al. On the other end, fourteen teams would have been under the payroll floor, by a total of $251 million. Even discounting the Marlins‘ $22 million payroll, the other thirteen teams would have had to spend an average of $15 million more just to meet the minimum. Some of those teams might be able to afford it; most wouldn’t.

Imagine being Frank Coonelly in this situation. Coonelly, the Pirates‘ team president, has publicly supported a cap. Had our fictional cap/floor arrangement been instituted last year, the Pirates would have needed to increase their Opening Day payroll by $28 million. Not only would the team have taken a big loss, but Neal Huntington’s long-term strategy would have been sabotaged, since the team would have had to sign a number of veterans just to meet the minimum payroll.

Now fast forward to 2009. Let’s say the Pirates’ sales staff runs into major headwinds, with the team struggling and the economy sinking. The team’s top line takes a hit, falling $10 million from 2008. The Mets and Yankees, meanwhile, open their new ballparks, and each team increases its local revenue by $50 million. If the twenty-seven other teams are flat, total industry revenues rise by $90 million (not including any appreciation in national media revenue). Forty-five percent of that, of course, goes to the players. So even as the Pirates’ purchasing power decreases, the payroll floor actually rises.

In other words, without a more egalitarian distribution of income, the system crumbles.

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Aside from the fact that most of the Series wasn’t particularly competitive, and that it involved teams I can muster only very tepid enthusiasm for or against, I had a problem getting into the Fall Classic this year simply because I’m deeply distracted – not just with work, or personal stuff, but with the *#&@ing election, with which I’ve been unhealthily obsessed for well over a year now.

Don’t get me wrong: if the Yankees or Mets had been in the Series, I would absolutely not have been so focused on silly stuff like a global economic crisis, and I would most likely have been checking baseball sites eight times a day instead of FiveThirtyEight.com (Baseball Prospectus writers: is there anything they can’t do?). As it is, it seems my baseball obsession has finally, temporarily, met its match.

Don’t worry, I’m not going to talk politics here; it seems no comment section is safe these days, and I myself completely lost my sense of humor on this topic weeks ago. But that’s why baseball’s more important to my mental health than ever. At a time when it sometimes seems like an innocuous remark about the weather can provoke partisan shrieking, it feels like one of the last safe havens.

In the office where I’m currently working, there’s an older man, who I’ll call Pete, a very friendly and affable guy, with whom I happen to disagree on virtually every conceivable political point. It was clear from my first day on the job a couple months back that, issues-wise, we were each more or less the other’s worst nightmare. There was, however, exactly one thing we had in common … campaign-finance reform! No, I’m kidding, you were right the first time: baseball.

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