You may recall that last month, I was thrilled when the Yankees claimed reliever Brian Schlitter from the Cubs. Alas, our favorite awesome headline generator was designated for assignment on Monday, to make room for Andruw Jones on the 40-man roster, and yesterday he was claimed off waivers by the Phillies. Those greedy bastards – they snap up all the great starting pitchers and then they have to go and take the great names, too?

One more for the road: Horseschlitt.