Karl Sharperson woke up to rain pounding off his apartment window on Jerome Avenue. It was well before dawn, but he quickly splashed water on his face, brushed his teeth and pulled on his lucky T-shirt: Alex Rodriguez number 13. He added two sweatshirts and a coat before heading downstairs to meet the weather.

“I knew it was gonna be cold and wet,” he said. “But it’s no big deal because I heard that CC and A.J. are in the neighborhood. The word is that there might be a big press conference soon. That will be the beginning of something big and the end of something bad.

“I’ve dealt with four years of lousy Carl Pavano jokes,” he continued. “I’m Karl with a K. He’s Carl with a C. That’s C for candy-ass.”

Karl with a K is happy that’s all in the past.

“We’re gonna have a strong starting rotation this year,” he said. “No more buttock bruises or car crashes with garbage trucks. Nobody could line up a string of injuries like Pavano had. Nobody.

“I’m free from all the jokes and this team is free from a lot of drama,” Karl with a K continued. “So let’s get CC and A.J. announced and then sign Andy and get ready to play ball.”

Karl with a K pulled up his collar and yanked down his hat to keep off the rain.

“I hope the weather is better on Opening Day,” he said. “At least we know the good stuff is on the way.”