Buck Showalter = WHACKS TROUBLE.
Also, THROWS A BUCKLE, and the upsettingly suggestive but not actually obscene, WURST BACK HOLE.

Just gonna lie on the couch and watch the game.

I don't want to jinx anything. But damn, this game is fun to watch so far!

[2] Excellent. I'm feeling very energetic, so I am sitting on the couch.

[4] don't hurt yourself.

i was hopeful that Gardner would continue leading off...

Greetings and felicitations, children of technology!

Happy Labor Day!

Hopefully the first inning means we'll have the company of "Good AJ" for the rest of the game (or most of it).

Is the Cap'n not dead?

Nice!
Not a ground ball at all.

[6] what i meant to say, is i'm so glad jeter is leading off.

[1] i myself like:

BLACKOUT SHREW (good cartoon name)

THROWS A BUCKLE (good for managerial ejections) (ah, i see you used this!)

WHO BREAKS CULT (let's hope my buddy cult of basebaal has a good labor day!)

CABLE TUSH WORK (when he works on his abs late at nite...)

BACK HOLE RUST (george brett syndrome. eeeewwww!!!)

BEACH WORK SLUT (this is the obvious winner)

"Cable tush work" is fairly apt for what I'm doing right now. Watching the one, sitting on the second, that's as close to the third as I'm getting today.

Allan James Burnett:

BANAL MENSTRUAL JET

LATERAL JAMS UNBENT

A JUST BALLET MANNER

BANANA JELL MET RUST

the words "batsman," "baseman," and "meatball" are all there. so is: "unstable"

perfect.

[11] i actually have to go get ready for work. like...NOW!!!

and there's the leadoff walk...

[13] Labor Day is not for musicians. Well, have fun!

[11] the game is on tv by you?

Oh, lord.
That's AJ.

[16] It's on MLBN.

now that's the aj we all know and love!

Million dollar arm, ten cent head.

Goddamn AJ.

[15] thanks! i'm actually looking forward to being outdoors. the last 2 days have been glorious & magnificent and today is no different. it's an outdoor festival gig at the main park here in midtown. plus, there's backline, so all i have to do is show up clutching a pair sticks...

after that though, i'll be holed up in the studio teaching & practicing...

[18] acha.

Have a good gig Nostra!

How about a nice 2 seamer ground ball double play here AJ?

[22] Gesundheit!

[24] Or that.

[24] A popup will do.

Now get the last out!

wow, impressive.

[23] thanks, man! i best get a move on. have to leave within an hour...

Hm. We'd better start working Matusz a little harder. I do think there will be more hits like Jeters, but I'd love to get him out of the game.

Who's had enough of the fukin bunnies, so sweet. (Yes watchers)

Trying to get the little ones gambling?

Oh, shit. Good try, Brett.

Hoo boy.

What is the rule on 'possession'? Because it looked like Brett actually caught that ball, and then the fall knocked it out.

Trouble for AJ the Menace.

Smart play. Good job, Teix.

[32] A CATCH is the act of a fielder in getting secure possession in his hand or glove of a ball in flight and firmly holding it; providing he does not use his cap, protector, pocket or any other part of his uniform in getting possession. It is not a catch, however, if simultaneously or immediately following his contact with the ball, he collides with a player, or with a wall, or if he falls down, and as a result of such collision or falling, drops the ball. It is not a catch if a fielder touches a fly ball which then hits a member of the offensive team or an umpire and then is caught by another defensive player. If the fielder has made the catch and drops the ball while in the act of making a throw following the catch, the ball shall be adjudged to have been caught. In establishing the validity of the catch, the fielder shall hold the ball long enough to prove that he has complete control of the ball and that his release of the ball is voluntary and intentional.
Rule 2.00 (Catch) Comment: A catch is legal if the ball is finally held by any fielder, even though juggled, or held by another fielder before it touches the ground. Runners may leave their bases the instant the first fielder touches the ball. A fielder may reach over a fence, railing, rope or other line of demarcation to make a catch. He may jump on top of a railing, or canvas that may be in foul ground. No interference should be allowed when a fielder reaches over a fence, railing, rope or into a stand to catch a ball. He does so at his own risk.
If a fielder, attempting a catch at the edge of the dugout, is “held up” and kept from an apparent fall by a player or players of either team and the catch is made, it shall be allowed.

[35] Hm, what Brett did certainly qualifies as falling "immediately following". So, okay, correct call.

I wonder what type of "protector" they are referring to in the rule. No cup catches allowed?

[37] Catcher's equipment, I'm sure.

Mateus is making the Yanks rose' with frustration?

This no-hitter can end anytime now.

[40] Jeter's double, remember?

Oh yeah.
Welcome back.

Happy to see Arod still able to do that!

[41] Oy! Now that you mention it I do. Holy Brain Cramp. : )

Thames is a good hitter.
Marcus Thames is a good hitter.

Jeter 0-2, what are the chances?

[46] Rising (now 2-2)...

Yes, ARod can still hit HRs.
But can Jeter hit the ball out of the infield?

.... guess not.

Fuck. Good try, Cap.

[48] Apparently not, and unlucky too.

[49] [40] [41] Wow, there is a severe memory loss problem among the Banterers today! Interesting.

I know we are frustrated by Derek's struggles, but he is obviously on the top of the frustration pyramid. He cannot function as Captain Cheerleader, what will he do?

[52] Did you see his foul on the 2-2 count? He is still trying to pill outside pitches. This is the guy who might be the best opposite field hitter is baseball. A bad year... slump.... it can happen. But his whole approach is screwed up.

He makes groundzilla Matsui look good.

... to PULL outside piches. I pilled a moneypants.

There needs to be team erros. That was ugly.

Awesome.

A-Rod's 100th RBI last year was a little more exciting then that one, but I'll take it.

OYF, did you see the 1st inning double? Jeter hit an outside pitch to the opposite field.

Seriously, it's kind of amazing how people forget the ABs that don't fit their stories.

[59] Wait. Jeter doubled? When? ; )

[59] RI ♥ DJ (so do I in a bro sort of way)

%$##

It's always humorous when millionaire adults play monkey in the middle during run downs.

[55] Don't piche your pants, they might pill.

Why bunt when the guy at first can steal?

I bunt better than Gardner.

This is why Girardi should not put in plays. Well, it's one reason.

[67] Reason #2.

Ugh.

Plays suck. Just do the regular stuff.

I got my answer.

That was the utmost worst inning ever that began with a lead off walk.

Where's Freddy Guzman when you need him?

I would imagine that Harry is not acceptable as a first name for Pie 's son.

[73] I'd choose Pittsburgh, or for a daughter, Altoona.

[73] It would make more sense if Pa Pie called him Swee'...

[74] Not Hershey?

Yeesh. Boone's right, those were good pitches. (Ball 2 and Ball 3 to Wieters, I mean.)

[76] I suppose there are lots of good options. I'm just partial to Pittsburgh and Altoona.

[73] Hair for short?

[78] Punxsutawney?

[79] Buzz? >;)

Whoosh, that was too close for comfort.

That's one way to keep the ball down and away...

You know what this game really needed? A PST.

[84] Performance Suspension Technology?

Pinch stand there.

Now that Arod is out of the game, maybe there is a chance to comeback and win (21-3 with him out of the lineup).

So am I the only one that knew that Burnett was going to cough it up as soon as he came back out for the seventh?

I am just so fucking sick of seeing him.

[88] Nope, you're not. But it's not like Mo is coming in behind him, either.

[88] Better get used to seeing him. That Ozark is signed through 2013, and nobody will pay his $16.5M per salary but the Yankees.

50 feet in front of the wall Kay, You suck.

[90] What a disaster that's going to be.

[90] (!) Nice choice of name; that's my cartoon character's name (with an extra 'Z' for disambiguation >;)

They should let CC hit for Moeller.

boo

I forgot Curtis was called up.

Atrocious loss.

Fwiw, that last pitch was outside.

Ugly.

Well that stunk.