These effers better win tonight.

I half expect Dickerson to fly apart at the seams in the third inning, but on the other hand (which will likely end up in the bleachers), he'll probably look good doing it. So I'm guessing Montero shows up after proving he's eager to hit homers like everyone else?

Wait, who's this Dickerson character?

[3] C-Dick is actually Eric Dickerson's cousin. As you might expect, he's very speedy.

He can't hit lefties, doesn't have a lot of power, and isn't as good in the corners as he is in CF. He's very injury-prone, and by all accounts is a jerk both the Reds and the Brewers were glad to get rid of.

The Yankees actually drafted him back in 2000, but he went to college instead. Then was drafted by the Reds.

On the good side - he's a good CFer, and gets on base, at least against righties.

[3] Oh, and C-Dick is the guy we got in exchange for Sergio Mitre.

Anyone know why these games start so early?

Fuck.

That about sums up how things are going right now ...

keep making him throw pitches, bitches!

[4] Cheers, Randy!

Blergh.

Grandy and Alex smoke two balls that easily could have been 2 doubles and we get squat from it.

Le sigh ...

Meh.

Seems like Nova brough Aunt Charlize to the game tonite.

I'm afraid to watch tonight. I'm not feeling happy about baseball, and that's not good. I might go watch some MiLB or something, just to get the mojo back.

[6] I haven't been able to find out. YES sent me an e-mail saying there was a special start time, but didn't say why.

Maybe it's part of their new marketing campaign, to appeal to retirees who don't want to stay up too late.

fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck

Fugh.

Another hard hit ball, another out.

[6][13] http://tinyurl.com/5u9ypp7

I can't believe that indignity against Farnsworth.

[11] Aunt Charlize sometimes gets lost on her way home. She's a little wild.

[16] Thanks! That actually makes a lot of sense.

Run GBG, run!

Eek.

Then again, maybe not.

Stay GGBG, stay!

No plays.

Nice to see someone around here can bunt, but in the third?

Ah, the bunt, Coffee Joe just can't help himself ...

I guess that play didn't suck too much. Doesn't mean I have to like it.

Seriously I would fire Girardi purely based on his calling bunt with Gardner on 1st. It sickens me.

Remember that one game, when Jeter didn't look like he had a giant fucking fork sticking out of his back?

Yeah, me too ...

Dickerson batting .248 but with a .370 OBP in Scranton. That's C-Dick in a nutshell.

Hmm ... is it too early in the pursuit of 3,000 to platoon Jeter? :-(

[28]

C-Dick run? No, C-Dick bunt!

[30] Yay! Levity!

=)

[26] I would just tell him there are no more bunts, ever.

[26] Made me laugh thinking about Cashman doing an in-game presser next inning:
"So, we fired Joe Girardi after last inning. Just want to say that it was NOT injury related. Uhhh, he called for a bunt with Brett Gardner on first base. Uhhh, yeah.. I can't comment on that. Future? THERE IS NO FUTURE! What do I mean by that? I can't comment on that at this time.."

ready... steady.. TWEET.

Sigh.

And there's your ballgame, folks!

dammit

El-John goes yard.

The Yankees have never lost a game I've watched while eating takeout pho. The losing streak ends tonight.

Oh, Robby.

I'm so used to this by now, I kind of enjoy it.

Cano channeling 2008 again this year.

Just fucking great.

I wonder what kind of draft pick the Yanks can get in June 2012?

[39] Ha, I kind of know what you're saying

28th error in 39+ games.

Am I wrong, or was Jeter's last AB about as ugly as an AB can get?

[42] There comes a tipping point after which we want blood, after which we want the fiasco to be as spectacular as possible.

[45] Justice's ABs in 2001 were far, far more horrific but yes, that was pretty not good.

On the plus side, with Nova having thrown 70 pitches in 3 innings, at least we're likely to see Hector Noesi finally get into a game ...

66 pitches in the third for Young Nova... I think that's around what Burnett had when he went supernova in the 6th yesterday

[48] 66 in the sixth = 666. Sounds about right.

Figure its the Alous

Bullshit foul territory.

I'm wondering why Teixeira even bothers. If he does even that

Cervelli needs to come and save the day like in Atlanta 2009

Jesus, that thing was 89mph.

ALEX GO BOOM!

And that one he hits? With his arms?

Go figure.

Trippy

Huh??
What was that?

please, Please, PLEASE let this mean that Alex is coming out of his slump.

You know Robbie, you get to see more than 1 pitch per at bat, right?

Ivan seems to be getting stronger.

[61] So strong he almost threw it over Teixeira's head! ;-)

C'mon, Pisshands!

No bunting!!!!!

If Posada turns it around, then maybe they should move Jeter down to ninth.

You almost have to wonder just how exactly Shields started pitching from the set like that

Gardener looked ridiculous there

[44] I think GGBG just took the lead with *that* pathetic showing ...

Trying to hit one out, he's already a true Yankee

Are the Yankee striking out at an absurd pace?

Wow! I say we give Jeter a hit on that one.

Is 6 strikeouts in 4.2 innings a lot?

This is tedious.

Dear Brett Gardner

I'll see your suck and raise you!

Sincerely,

Your Captain

Make that 7 strikeouts in 5 innings.

You'd think at this point, Professional Hitters like most of the Yankees would fucking relax and "let the game come to them". They appear to be gripping as hard as ever tonight. I guess I should count my blessings that Swisher isn't in the lineup slowly killing himself before my eyes.

Dallas Braden out for the year.

[75] 6, I believe.

Swisher doesn;t snag that ...

[78] Jeter's third K made it 7.

Nova's really good.

Nice to see Nova settle down and have a couple of quick innings.

[80] You're right. Gameday was screwed up, but has it right now.

[81] [82] see [61].

Considering Nova sort of came out of nowhere, he has been pretty decent.

This game bores me. I'm gonna bake a cake.

Fucking shift.

Motherfucker.

BOOMSHAKALAKA!

A-Rod is coming around, I guess.

No fucking way.

Nice effort there, Robbie.

Ok, dare we dream better things for Alex?

[92] Better than two homers?

Oh, of course, you mean solid, opposite field line drives and grounders up the middle.

;-)

Get somebody up.

Now.

Wow, Nova's that good? First walk?

Come on, man, keep it together...

[93] :)

Fucking Damon, nice hit.

Would a good shortstop at least have knocked that down?

I'm seeing a Longoria longball soon.

glad I'm wrong :-)

Nice pitch.

Oh, fug. This counts as a play.

NO PLAYS.

Nice work, Nova!

Standing O for this dude.

Yeah, that's my boy.

Oh, fuck YES!

Wow!

BOOYAH, THE ROBINATOR!!!

Damn. the Yankees just might win this game

Well waddya know. The IBB was cost-free.
And take a bow, please, D-Rob!

D-Rob looks better yelling than Joba does ...

[107] But...
but...
what about the cake???

With the fist-pump!

Hey! Who is that team and what did you do with my Yankess?

[110] Its cooling. Red Velvet cake.

[112] Hey now. They've still struck out 42 times and made several bad defensive plays

GO FOR THE TRIPLE!!

Nice work, Jorgie!

A CHUG-A-LUG for CLETUS McJUGS!

A bunt!

A successful bunt!

HOWYA LIKE *THAT* PLAY RI???

=)

Two more singles and Posada will score!

[119] Yeah, yeah.
Okay, so Girardi is now batting .135.

Oh, this is good, this I like, and Mattpat will love it. Because now Joe can't put Nunez in the field!

Goddamn, but he's off balance.

I think Jorge might have scored on that. But no matter, we are safe from Nunez' glove!

[121] Actually, I think it means GGBG is batting 1.000 ... at least for tonite.

Heck .... Jeter should bunt on a 1-2 count tonight

[125] He struck out once. (Or am I missing a joke there?)

Wow.

ZOMBIE JETER ARISES!!!

Now, to be totally, fair, that probably should have been a hit up the middle anyway

[127] 1.000 is his "plays" b.a.

HAHAHAHAAHAHAA!
[126] Anagram that.

[131] Ohhhhh.
That factors into his GARP, right?

Who's gonna pitch? D-Rob?

What I miss? Quick recap from someone please, in haiku form if possible. :)

Nova tiring
Bases full of creeping Rays
Behold! Rob's HAMMER!

[135]
Rays quiet under Nova's spell
Jorge not dead yet
The Centaur roars.

[136] Oh yeah, that was nice. (Only Mr. OK might misunderstand who 'Rob' is.)

[137] The lesser known 8-5-4 haiku form?

[138] True, shoulda used "Davey's".

[139] Yeah, but at least mine had 17 syllables. You're one short.

[132] Aaaaaaaahhhhhh!

Cake update: Its lopsided. Don't know how the fuck that happened.

[140] Or D-Rob's.

Ugh.

Fugh.

Fuck.

And that right there is the David Robertson Experience.

Why is Joba a better candidate than Robertson here?

[136][137] I love you guys. (sniffle)

The team is just so much better when A-Rod hits..to state the blindingly obvious!

[144] Too many syllables.

No! Joba starts innings. D-Rob finishes them. Oh, the Blinder.

Joba for four outs? Or will we get to see...

Sorry, I don't want to upset Mattpat further.

Ron Davis in the 8th, then Gossage in the 9th

[148] Uh, but Davey's and D-Rob's have the same number of syllables. (And for the sabermetricians among you, that number is: 2.)

[146] In fairness to Joe here, D-Rob does not often pitch well when he's thrown this many pitches.

Good job, Fat Man.

Damn, I had a knot in my stomach, even though my brain said it was the right move.
Whew!

Much better.

[152] Doh! You're right, neither would work. #HAIKUFAIL

Blergh.

ROBBIE, get it toGETHER!

[156] Math and poetry are hard.
Let's go shopping!

This is a huge batter, right here.

Was!
Excellent. My confidence is rising...

Laptop HD issues, and it couldn't have come at a better time because the Banter would have only made the the last few days feel even worse. I was able to tune out, and remember the other important things.

But now I'm back...and so is Singleton (the Yankees should have won yesterday, as only the Yang of AJ counteracted his Yin). Maybe the Yanks need Kenny in the booth to keep the Kharma going.

Let's go, and finish this.

Those feet of concrete
For icon Derek Jeter
Is so sad to watch

[162] Yep.
(Except, no 'h' in 'karma'.)

Well done, Fat Bastard!

Did Belth announce that Soriano went to the DL?

Goldman just put up an interesting look at C-Dick over at the Pinstriped Bible.

GGBG!

Sure is nice to have a C who can run a little.

Gritty, gritty play!

niiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiice

Mmmmmm.
Runs.

ZOMBIE JETER!

A HIT!

[166]

I bet Soriano blamed Monahan for him ending up on the DL .. :-p

Wow.
Yeah, I remember. The Yankees used to do this all the time.

Yikes! Jeter smashed that one 120'!

[176] Line drive in the box score!

Mo? or no?

Well, at least Noesi got to warm up tonite ...

A lead off walk would be perfect.

When ... the .... lead jumps to 5
And the bullpen's alive
That's Amaury ...

AMAURI SENIT = A RAY TSUNAMI.

This is slightly worrisome.

[182]

Nice!

[181] brilliant.
[182] (shudder)

IT'S AN OUT!

Maddon, you and your ballpark can go screw!

What the heck is going on?

[186] the ball MAY have hit the 3rd ring catwalk, making it a HR. They're checking the instant replay.

..I only know this cause the iphone app gives me TV coverage for the last inning sometimes.

Hmmm .... I don't think they should talk about C-rings before 11PM ...

All I know is somebody mentioned red velvet cake with a gangsta lean and I wanna know whassup...

They need to get a real ballpark.

[191] me and my boys are going to the trop for 2 NYY-TB games in July. Then driving down to Miami for 2 NYM-FLA games. (they're all Mets fans and they'll make me suffer in TB I fucking know it)

[192] Nice! Enjoy.

Dude robbed that young chick. That's hysterical!

The pho knows.

Dammit, Sanit, just say no to a dry hump of Mo.

oh jeez.. c'mon you bastids.

still not a save situation. oh well.

[196] I've got one thing to say and that's "Dammit, Sanit!" I don't want this game to turn into a Horror Show.

Shoot. A one-out S for His Moliness would have been nice. Should have let one more batter ride A RAYS TSUNAMI.