Who's on first?

that lineup looks like one of the better april fool's jokes.

the jeter and teix caricature could use some work.

i'm never quite ready for baseball until it gets warmer, so it is quite appropriate that winter has lasted so damn long this year.

Just wish I was going to be able to watch live on TV. Can't even use WatchESPN on my phone, because it will be blacked out in the greatest Boston area.

Oh well, following along via the Banter with everybody is an excellent substitute!

Sparse nowflakes falling outside my window and I am on spring break. Beats working. Go Baseball! Go Yankees!

Jesus. That's some kind of "lineup," huh?

But indeed, never mind the Sex Pistols, here come the Yankees. Or something like that.

good lord, i hate the shit sox.

and already had to mute espn with their ridiculous who will finish with a better record b.s. (shit sox got 97% of the vote) and blowhard scurt.

have to teach this afternoon, will dvr the game and most likely watch tomorrow...

GO YANKS!!!

Let's go Yankees!!

Happy Baseball everyone!

he caught it, he caught it!!!

fuck that little runt.

i'm in mid-season form, haha!

See See!!!

Stress free top half. Good work, CC!

weak.

bryce harper goes yard...

hustle! ; )

weird.

14) Who cares? This is a Yankee thread. LOL

[17] i just did a little scoreboard peeping...

excited about baseball...

nice play by the 3rd basement.

[20] Yankees have three basements? I've only got one.

20) Dag, you are in fine form already!

How nice of the Red Sox to have such a young, highly touted OF prospect.

[21] old banterism.

[22] yeah, fuck it. might be the only game i actually get to watch. and i only have a few more minutes before work.

oh, and there goes the future hall of famer with an rbi! red sox will win the serious! man, these yankees are old.

omg, sutcliffe.

Fucking Victorino. God dammit!

this is farking awesome.

feh.

Ugh.

[24] With this opening day lineup, it feels like the Yankees are in the third basement.

holy crap. what a load o' shit...

3-0 already?

[28] and a-rod's mixin' up the "medicine".

[30] no.

4-0

upwards of 50 pitches already...

With this lineup, this game is over. Isn't there another team in NY we can watch this year.

So, apparently a lineup full Blue Jays and Red Sox castoffs is having trouble today. Hm.

No warm and fuzzy feeling here. Ugh.

Just checking: 1 hour in, 2 and a half innings played. Yep, definitely a Sox-Yanks game.

and...we're being no hit! awesome.

bryce harper = 2 homeruns today...

a hit, a hit, a hit!!!

ok, so...

we're being shutout.

So, that hit by Gardner pretty much summarizes the Yankees' offensive attack for this season. That and ground outs by Vernon Wells.

Eat shit, blue.

I'm confused---the Red Sox seem to have a young player starting in LF, the guy who just made that awkward catch. What's up with that?

CC's numbers on Opening Day are pretty bad, and so I am not worrying.

[40] Hey, remember 1990? Or 1991? It could be a lot worse. ;)

wait a minute - the gold glove winning rookie of the year struck out?!

huh.

Do you think we'll see Mariano this season? I mean, you've gotta have the lead or be tied....

Down 4-0 and and the unstoppable Pedro Ciriaco isn't even playing. And here comes Victorino again.

[42] They must be desperate!

Hey look a genuine scoring opportunity!

The opening day DH. sigh...

Nix, Nix, he's our man! If he can't do it . . . Frankie Brains can?

Bases loaded. Full count. Send the runners. Chaos!

Nice job, Lance. No need to swing at that fastball.

Geez Nix, what were you looking at?

Brains comes through!

[50] Damn straight! Just Fair!

Frankie Brains! Frankie Brains!!

BRAAAIIIINNS...

Time for the can't hit SS to not get a hit, no?

[43] I remember1990 and 1991. The team was dreadful, but at least they had a few youngerish players I was somewhat interested in watching. Of course, they mostly ended up being crap, but it was far more entertaining than the Vernon Wells-Lyle Overbay show. And some of them ended up not being crap, like a kid named Bernie Williams.

Yeah, this Vernon Wells signing is gonna work out just fine.

[60] Hey now. He has some hard hit foul balls!

hey hey. happy baseball everyone. are we clobbering them? i'm afraid to look...

[59] Yes, and I agree. I would prefer to see Almonte or Melky 2 in the outfield today, instead of Wells, and Mustelier at DH instead of Ben Francisco today.

But those Yankees had no one nearly as good as Cano, and I'd say Gardner was better than the lot of them, too (yes, even better than what Donnie Baseball was at that point) - and the pitching staff isn't even close. I don't think this will be a great year, but there are still a lot of excellent reasons to watch.

[63] Gardner frustrates me more often than not.

Nice of Joe to give as many guys as he can the chance to suck today. Oi!

62) Not yet. Saving the best for last, of course.

[63] They had no one as good as Cano is right now, assuming he doesn't flake out this season. But over the course of a career, Bernie has got to be as good as Cano, plus or minus. Plus, watching Mattingly, even in his diminished form, was always interesting for me. I guess I just have very little emotional attachment to the current team, outside of Jeter and a bit of Gardener and Cano. I had a lot of fun watching the '91 team lose lots of their games, probably more than I will have watching the 2013 version lose half their games.

hey folks!

[67] is that in part because you're older? I still enjoy the games but not in the same way that i did when i was younger.

Sterling and Waldman were talking about how shocked they were that the Yankees only have one bullpen lefty.

Have I mentioned how thrilled that makes me?

[63] i do love cano and gardy. really hate that ugly is on the team. not excited for a year of a-rod and ugly taking up a lot of at bats (when healthy). for the first time in forever i opted out of mlb.tv... for now anyhow.

[68] I don't necessarily think so. The 2012 version of the Yankees may have been one of my all time least favorite teams to watch, but that was more because they were a boring, plodding team with a manager that overmanaged to the point of lunacy, which made them even more boring. I would have disliked that at nine as much as I did at 25.

[68] Yeah, that's probably a lot of it. But my brother is even older than me, by about 12 years, and he seems to have lost interest at about the same time. So I don't think it's only age. But being older is probably a big factor.

[69] Don't worry. At some point this year someone will get injured, and there will be much discussion of how to replace said injured player, given the dearth of MiL options and other constraints (e.g., some sucky player can't be optioned down so he has to occupy a roster spot rather then be released). Then some of us will start to get excited that maybe this is the opportunity for MiL-player X to get a shot. But in the end, the Yankees brass will simply opt to bring up a 13th reliever, who will most probably be a LHP. Then some of us will complain, but others will admonish that this is only a temporary situation and after all we need to preserve the starters for the playoffs or some such. But by the end of the year, there he will be, the 13th pitcher still in the BP, now a vital cog in Joe Girardi's machinations.

[72] Well, the last couple of seasons have represented big changes from the past. I bet a lot of fans felt that same way in 1964-1965 that we do now. Where's Old Yanks Fan when you need his input? :)

But you're right - the "youngest" everyday "Yankee" is Garnder, and he's 29, and has played but two+ seasons. I hope that changes in the next year plus, but I can understand how the same old same old gets old.

Oh, and I love watching the pitchers, even on days when they don't have their best stuff.

Did Boone have any chance of turning a DP there?

[75] It was smoked right off the heel of his glove and ricocheted to Cano. If Boone fielded it cleanly, it could have been a dp. Imo.

Rally time. Come on, Nuney, you helicopter swinging, error machine.

Will Cano get walked 200 times this year?

That's the 3rd (at least) caught looking on a fastball right down the pipe for Yankees. WTF.

[79] The real question is, why has that seemed to be a problem for this team going back to, I don't know, 2003?

Or is it really a problem at all? Do we just remember when it happens?

OK Cano, earn your contract . . .

NOT WHAT I MEANT, Cano! Argh!

[72] [74] yeah there is definitely something about this team that is less fun to watch that goes beyond me just being older and enjoying the sport a little differently.

Fail.

[80] But not a backwards K.

And for what it's worth, there definitely needs to be a unicode symbol for "backward k."

[85] indeed.

haf-man! haf-man!

lethargic offense is kind of what i expected i guess.

Joba!

Oy vey. Robbie?

Well fuck that play. Just wonderful. That's the ballgame.

It's gotta be the STACHE!

Putting out the fire...with gasoline.

The game is not worth discussing. However, does anyone think that Joba's 'stache wins him second place in the Nick Johnson lookalike contest?

Sheesh, Joba. Sheesh.

I'm envisioning many Bronx cheers for the 'stache.

Beh.