A few years ago, Nigella Lawson, the voluptuous British cook, came to the U.S. First it was her book, and then her cooking show. Although the half- hour program was shot through soft filters in her own kitchen, making it unlike most cooking shows–it looked like something out of “9 1/2 Weeks”– Lawson had a casual and spontanious approach to cooking that was almost as appealing as simply looking at her. I only caught one episode, which concluded with Lawson deep frying candy bars–all the rage a few years back–and inviting some friends over for a feast. Upon tasting one of these treats, a guest proclaimed, “It’s like Christmas and my birthday all rolled into one.”

Well, that’s exactly how I expect Red Sox fans will react if Nomar Garciappara gets traded to the White Sox for Magglio Ordonez. Newsday is reporting that the deal will take place after the Rodriguez-for-Ramirez deal is completed later this week (the A Rod business could happen as early as today). If Ordonez does in fact get traded to Boston, the Sox will not suffer any serious decline in production with the loss of Ramirez. They will also continue to become a more likable squad, and I’ll be beside myself with envy as Ordonez has been one of my favorite players in the league for the last four years. Shortly, I won’t be able to root for Magglio or A Rod any longer; in fact, I’ll be forced to actively root against them.

Poor little Yankee fan am I.