Yay baseball!

Oh great, an URP.

Jeter!

WOO-HOO!

The Captain!

Man, I thought that was a flyout.

Jeter shows power!

JETES, SWISH!

Oh the other hand. . .

All three to the same part of the field.

That was another one of those stats designed to make a current Yankee look good but just makes you realize how awesome Rickey was.

sigh

[10] Yup. It's funny, if you go by position, Rickey isn't your all-time greatest left-fielder, but if you're constructing the all-time batting lineup, I put Rickey leading off.

[12] Yeah. I guess you make Ted Williams DH?

[13] Yeah.

Its 7:30 and we're still in the first inning

That was not very nice, Freddy

[15] About as exciting as watching paint dry.

Good inning, Fred. Real impressive.

Hurry back, Andy.

[16] But he's a proven veteran! He knows how to win! He knows how to pitch in the big leagues! /snark

I am sure he's bullpen fodder when Pineda returns / if Pettitte comes back first, but I do feel bad for Phelps. I bet Phelps could do at least as well, if not better, than Freddy. C'est la vie.

Jesus, is this going to be a 15 inning slop fest?

Is it possible that Kay has gotten even worse at judging fly balls?

Strike zone is big. Not like yesterday.

Please get Freddy back out there stat. I'm ready for another 35 pitch inning.

Good eye, Brett.

This is gonna be one of those games where we strike out looking nine times, isn't it?

Damn *that* was a strike?

Indeed, both corners are generous.

Okay, the strike zone isn't big. It's just kind of mushroom-shaped.

Holy Christ, Freddy has to be taking 45 seconds between pitches

Huh. Go figure.

I'm glad we have Russell Martin.

[31] If Frankie was in, Gardner would just be getting to that ball now

They're a half inning ahead of us in Toronto. Sox have one hit in three innings against Kyle Drabek.

Never expected to hear "Vinnie Chulk" again

Do-over! Jeter isn't allowed to make an out against the Orioles.

We're catching up to the Jays/Sox now. Two on, nobody out for Bautista...

Bard firing flames but missing. 3-0 to Bautista...

Bard comes back and strikes out Bautista on a foul tip. Now Lind.

Bard attacks Lind with sliders, 0-2. Then he climbs the ladder with his 4-seamer but Lind hammers it into center to drive in a run.

This game is horrifyingly boring.

You know, major league baseball players are fucking amazing.

It's incredible that Curtis caught that baseball.

[40] Yes.

I bet you 9 is a fair guess

What is that, six strikeouts?

This is the Yankees vs URP I remember.

3-0 Jays.
Bard's heater is sitting around 94-95. Not bad, but a far cry from the 100mph he had as EIG.

You know the thing about Teix?
He misses a lot of cookies for a guy who's supposed to hit homeruns and doesn't hit for a high average.

Well it is Sandy Koufax out there so don't expect much offense.

This is an insufferable game to watch.

Get well soon Pineda.

Oh Jesus fucking Christ.

Yeah, lets get David Robertson hurt so we can have a crappy lefty warming up.

Fail.

Dammit Russell.

He missed the fucking ball.

JUST END THIS AWFUL GAME

On the bright side Jones did not end Martin's season.

Oh for crying out loud!

Wow.

That was very impressive from Derek.

Nice range, old timer!

So, on the one hand, he saved a run.

On the other, apparently he kept Freddy Garcia in the game.

I believe Freddy has realized it's the Orioles and he's doing his best to make it a four hour game.

If he can do that, he hits .300

A hit with a man on second would be appreciated.

Come on, fucking Swish...nice and easy...

Wow, that was fast.

You're killing me, Swish. Fucking Bollocks!

God almighty Michael Kay sucks.

Damn it.

When you have two RISP, you really don't need to hit it to the deepest part of the park like that.

Nice and easy up the middle would more than suffice.

I never want to see Freddy Garcia pitch again

Why the fuck is Garcia out there still?

Wow, free out. Thanks!

Excellent play by Martin.

Oh,my.

Rapada is up to give me a stroke, Michael.

OH, FOR FUCK'S SAKE!

Atta boy, Freddy. Superbly done you jackass.

Unbelievable.

Jesus, now I'm cracking up.

This is brutal.

Freddy looks orange. I believe he's turned into a pumpkin.

Boone Logan answering the phone

Hey Joe. You're 2/3 of inning too late. grumble grumble grumble grumble grumble

Freddie Garcia: 4 WP ENTIRE 2011 season.
Freddie Garcia: 5 WP in 4+ IP in 2012.

How often does that happen?

Rick Ankiel never threw five wild pitches?

At this point in the year I like Phelps more than Hughes or Garcia. And that's just based on the one start I saw him make this spring.

That's it Robbie. String some friggin' hits together.

Chill OUT, Alex.

Damn it.
Damn it.
Damn it.

I expect nothing from Teixeira

I don't understand Teix.
Why is he swinging at that ball in the dirt but he doesn't protect the outside corner?

Oh my God, it's only the sixth inning?

And again, pulling that outside pitch. He just can't help himself.

a. hit
b. double play
c. 2 quick outs
d. other
hmmmmmmmm......

I have a message from Tex:

You banterers might not know as much about hitting as you think.

Love,
Mark

It's like watching Matsuzaka

This would be a really good time for a double.

That was frighteningly close

[93] hahahah

All I know is, I heard the man hold forth about how he regrets being nothing but a pull hitter and really wants to use the whole field this year. Said it loud and clear, before God and everyone.

Lame. Beggars can't be choosers I guess.

[83] My first game was Tommy John's return as an Angel. He only threw 3 wild pitches in 2 innings.

God, Martin's a slow fuck.

Hmm

Yes.
Thank you, Russell. It's good to have him on the team.

Great hustle. Great. I love Russell.

ATTA BOY, BRETT!

FUCK YEAH!

Now they're cooking with grease! : )

Comeback!

Yay!

Let's all applaud again, let's all applaud again!

Just like that.

Just like that.

[108] Yes, exactly! Perfect.

Gritner has a wheelhouse?

I'm gonna go get the papers, get the papers.

[103] His post game interview last night was pretty damn funny.

Flipping over to the Jays game. Bases loaded, nobody out for the Jays.

Single by Arencibia, bases still loaded for Colby Rasmus. Toronto is looking good.

[113] Argh, I missed it. I don't get the postgame on mlb.tv.

Sac fly in Toronto, 6-1.

Pound the strike zone, kid!

I'm enjoying the Yankees post Karstens philosophy of having long men that aren't the worst pitchers you can realistically have on a 25 man roster

Satisfactory, Mr. Phelps.

Good enough, Mr. Swisher.

Newsflash: The umps have been terrible on check swings so far.

Oh, fuck me.

Horseshit send. Why??? WIth the fucking 4-5 batters coming up with a hobbled swish. boooooooooooo!

WHY THE FUCK DO THEY HAVE SWISHER RUNNING WITH NO OUTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dang.

Unacceptable, Mr. Swisher.

Unacceptable Mr. 3rd base coach

[126] Rob Thomson.

Cano's first XBH? Need A-Rod's to yard now, it's time to end the power outage..

Newsflash #2. The umps suck. Period.

Seems the rampant stupidity is becoming infectious throughout the coaching staff.

Oh, I see.

Yeah, that was bullshit.

Waitwat?

What the fuck is the strike zone tonight?

[128] Didn't he get a double in Tampa?

[134] Yes. Second game.

There's a shocker

Horseshit call against Alex.

123) Here, here. That was a boneheaded move.

Did that inning really just happen?

We're really going to be 1-4, aren't we?

I guess Rob Thomson figured Alex and Swish were going to strike out, better send Nick.

He's got good late action on that fastball.

Damn.

Thomson saved us the pain of seeing Alex, Teix, AND Granderson striking out with men on 2nd and 3rd. So there's that.
And then there's Phelps. Whoo-hoo!

[140] (Teix.)

I'm not sure what the Os are looking for

[143] Quite.

David Phelps. Yes indeed. Bright spot.

I'm liking Phelps. Umps, not so much.

Encarnacion bomb, 7-1 Jays.

[147] The Boston staff is not bootylicious this year..this makes me a bit happy.

Who is David Phelps, btw? I'm a bit behind so far this season on the young'uns.

Hey, a pinch hit.

This would be a great spot to debut the punch stand there

[150] I believe we have a new Banter-word. Let's hear it for the "punch stand" everybody!

[150] NO PLAYS.

You notice we only ever hit and run with combinations that are doomed to fail?

Who the hell thought THAT was a good idea?

I'm a little worried, D-Rob must be tired. From yesterday.

I don't think Jeter can hit Jim Johnson with a paddle

And in fact he doesn't. And no one else really does either.

Not too tired.
Good Hammering, Mr. Robinson.

Mattpat, are you posting from the future?

Cano is 6 for 19 (with six singles) Swisher is 3-10 with a walk and a double and Martin is 2-4.

Swisher is the only Yankee with an extra base hit.

If I could throw a changeup I'd beat the Yankees.

How Jete it is.

Good start. Beware of bunt.

Good thing Jeter wasn't using a paddle.

Jeter is now 3-15. Yay!

That was a genuine yay too.

[162] NO PLAYS.

[165] I'll take a HR here.

The Orioles announcers knew Swish wouldn't bunt, because then they'd walk Cano.

Shoulda bunted.

C'mon, Robbie. Find a gap.

Fug.

Channel your younger self here.

Oy. It wasn't a strike, either. Bad eye.

For. Fuck's. Sake. Pathetic.

It's early..it's early..but is A-Rod just done?

Damn.

174) C'mon now. He had great swings in Tampa. Breathe.

Ive wasted three and a half hours of my life to see Boone Logan.

Boone for the 9th. Yikes.

[176] Didn't catch most of his ABs there, that's reassuring to hear. He just usually kills the Boids in Camden Yards.

Does piss poor defensive positioning count as a play?

Lousy couple of games for him but he's been okay.

This looks bad now...

Cano was playing up the middle and Boone's nailing the outside corner. Hence the seeing eye dribbler. Ugh.

Anyone else get the feeling we're about to cycle through five relievers in two innings?

[177] I have had more than enough Boone Logan in my life..is there no one at AAA that can replace him?

You know, tie game in the ninth with three relievers left might not be the best time to buts out the frigging LOOGY.

You just know this cocksucker is going to get the game winner here.

Is Soriano hurt already. BR says he hasn't pitched since game 1.

That was scary. Saw that one flying into center.

Good job.

Oh good. This particular game is going into extra innings.

Its preferable to losing.

I suppose.

It's about time for a Markakis home run.

Good. I can't stand Markakis.

1 more out, Wade.

crickets....

I hate this guy's delivery.

It's retarded.

[195] Back now! Go Go Team!

Pedro Strop?

[179] Well it certainly appears that he's no longer a monster at the plate.

Although, I would love for him to prove otherwise. Hell, our season depends on it.

Dag, that bunt was too hard.

This dude's routine before every pitch is played out. Throw the fucking ball already

This game fucking sucks.