This season might be skimpy on highlights come October but we can count the last ten minutes of Friday night’s game as one of them.

Here’s the scene: Yanks clinging to a 3-2 lead in the 9th, David Ortiz at the plate (of course), facing Andrew Miller with one out. Miller falls behind 3-1 and his next pitch, a breaking ball, fooled catcher Brian McCann but it was called a strike anyway (and looked like one, too). Ortiz yelled, stepped out the box and carried on like a bawling baby. His manager quickly came to his rescue and got thrown out. Then Ortiz looked at a called strike three, went back to the dugout before he charged back out. He too was tossed. I half-expected Jimmy Hart or Classy Freddie Blassie to climb out with him.

Far as I’m concerned it didn’t matter if Hanley Ramirez won the game. Seeing Ortiz take himself out of a critical at-bat because a call didn’t go his way was worth it. Now, he’ll make the Hall of Fame maybe one day and he’s a great hitter. But the guy seems to constantly get a pass for his tantrums. In the Globe this morning, Nick Carfare said “Ortiz will never be accused of mailing it in.” If this were A Rod it would be about how he acted unprofessionally and like an amateur and is a horrible, selfish teammate.

Naturally, he’s going to hit about 8 more homers against the Yanks this season, but hell, it was worth it.

Ramirez whiffed and Michael Kay embarrassed himself by calling the final strike like it was Game 7 of the ALCS. That, if anything, was a true indicator of just how bad this team is and how long this season will be. But it helped capped an entertaining couple of minutes.

No, you heard right. The Yanks won. Handily. Cause it happens. Maybe you should want a refund. After all, winning is not what you expected. But you’ll have to take it and like it. (Best part was seeing C.C. pitch so well.)

They might g’head and win another one tonight. I mean, ya never know, am I right?

Never mind the prosperity:

Let’s Go Yank-ees!

Here at Bronx Banter we’re not so much on top of the news these days. Due to my work schedule posting is down considerably—and just as the Yanks head into their losing seasons, so like a Yankee fan, right? Anyhow, I’m resigned to this being a losing season so I don’t feel any urgency in letting you know what you already know—the Yanks lost again last night. Course, they’ll be at it again tonight and we will be rooting. Cause that’s what we do no matter how cruddy the squad is.

Never mind bitchin’:

Let’s Go Yank-ees!

The Yanks ain’t no suckers. Hell, they scored a mess o runs last night, man. But they are a bad team and bad teams find ways to not win, you know what I mean? Alex Rodriguez and co. roughed-up David Price but Nathan Eovaldi, sans splitty, matched Price is suckiness. Then our boy Betances gave up the go-ahead homer in the bottom of the seventh. Not likely to see that too often, blowing a couple of games in a series, but it happened to Mo so it can happen to Betances.

Drag. Final Score: Red Sox 8, Yanks 7.

Yeah, didn’t figure that’d work either. And it’s a shame because C.C. pitched a lovely game, he really did. But when you don’t score runs it is tough to win games. Know what I mean, Vern?

Well, at least it didn’t last long, less than two-and-a-half hours. The Yanks took it on the chin last night in Texas—10-1—but have no fear, slide on over to Esquire Classic and read all about George Frazier, the King of Style. It’s a nice distraction, I swear.

Yanks caught a beating from the Rays yesterday at the Stadium and Alex Rodriguez left the game early with an oblique injury. Team now shuffles off to Texas for three against the Rangers.

Meanwhile, over at Esquire Classic, last week gave a bunch of good stories, including features from the new issue (the last edited by David Granger)—a funny Q&A with George Clooney and a chilling feature by Tom Junod about one of the approximately 70,000 adult women who are reported missing each year. I also interviewed Junod about the piece, here. Finally, David Hirshey was the guest on the latest Esquire Classic Podcast giving us the behind-the-scenes scoop on Richard Ben Cramer’s classic profile of Ted Williams. Listen in.

Good win last night—Oh, Gardy—more this afternoon.

Never mind the chill:

Let’s Go Yank-ees!

Jacoby Ellsbury stole home last night, the play of this young season. It tied the game and the Yanks won 6-3.

So sweet.

They’re at it again this afternoon.

…ain’t what she used to be, ain’t what she used to be, ain’t what she used to be.

Low times in the Bronx.

It was same old song for the Yanks last night. I mean, Carlos Beltran is still hitting, and Didi Gregarious is a little too, but the rest of the team is struggling. Boy, are they ever. If I had anything good to say, I’d say it.

A’s 5, Yanks 2. 

Picture by Bags

Tight game, nice pitching, no hitting. Sound familiar? Get used to it, folks—wait, you say you’re already used to it? Well, then I’m out of tricks.

Yanks lose 3-2 in 11.

Le sigh.

[Photo Via: This Isn’t Happiness]

Looks like it’s gonna be this way, huh? Yanks are going to win some and lose some more and the bullpen will almost always be stingy.

Final Score: Yanks 4, M’s 3.

Alex Rodriguez hit a two-run homer early and then had a few forgettable at bats. After the game, Anthony McCarron of the Daily News asked Joe Girardi:

“Joe, when Alex hits the home run do you say, Slump Over or do you look at the other at bats in the game—he didn’t have much success after that—and say, like, It’s just a work in progress, a step forward, or—”

Joe Girardi: “You know what? I went and saw a shrink, um, and had him analyze what I should analyze and I went from there.”

Girardi’s jaw was as tight and you could see his teeth in the small smile he allowed himself. He shook his head and said, “That’s what I did.”

Easy now.

Picture by Bags

Yeah, so I forgot to get up a game thread in time yesterday but it didn’t make much difference—the Yanks can’t seem to score these days despite putting runners on base: they lost to the Mariners, 7-1 on Friday and 3-2 yesterday. Alex Rodriguez, in an early-season slump, looked especially weak yesterday, didn’t he? Carlos Beltran is the only guy really hitting but it hasn’t been enough.

Another lovely spring day today. Here’s hoping they can reverse their fortunes.

Never mind the nonsense:

Let’s Go Yank-ees!

Picture by Bags 

Last night’s game was not a re-run though it felt awfully similar to Wednesday’s game, didn’t it? Nathan Eovaldi didn’t pitch poorly, he just made one big, fat mistake, thank you for nothing, Mr. Donaldson (p.s. That Stroman kid is a handful, too). The final—Blue Jays 4, Yanks 2.

Meanwhile over at Esky Classic, I’ve got a little tribute to George Plimpton, as well as a Q&A with Mike Lupica. I remember Plimpton hawking Intellivision when we were kids, and of course I remember reading about Sidd Finch. In fact, I can’t remember a time when I didn’t recognize Plimpton though it wasn’t until later that I found out what he’d accomplished (The Paris Review, Paper Lion et al.). I just knew he was famous for being famous without knowing why. What about you? What do you remember about Plimpton?

 [Photo Credit: Ron Galella/WireImage/Getty Images]

Yeah, the game was close for a while there. Until it wasn’t. Michael Pineda pitched OK—Ivan Nova did not as the Jays rolled to a 7-2 win.

Meanwhile, Kobe Bryant is pretty funny and the Golden State Warriors are pretty good.

Picture by Bags

Yanks beat the Jays, 3-2 and you can thank the pitching for this one. Betances got the big outs. Miller nailed it shut.

Smile.

Picture by Bags

Nice clobbering win for the Yanks yesterday. I was driving south down the West Side Highway in the rain when John Sterling tripped all over himself calling Alex Rodriguez’s long solo home run. It was hilariously cruddy. But you gotta love the results.

The weather is supposed to be horrible today—John and Suzyn were talking about it all afternoon. Let’s see if they get a game in tonight.

Meanwhile, the Yanks picked up Nick Swisher whose career was last seen headed due South and but fast. Let’s see if he can regain any of his old Mojo. [Insert Joke Here.]

I didn’t catch any of the game yesterday but knowing how cold it was and knowing that Jordan Zimmerman was making his Tiger debut, it wasn’t  surprising at all to learn that the Yanks lost 4-0. Got three cruddy hits. I mean, what more do you need to know about this one?

They’re at it again first thing this afternoon. And it’s our man, C.C. don’t you know? Rooting for him now more than ever before, despite his diminished ability.

Here’s rooting for good shit, you know?

Never mind the brrr:

Let’s Go Yank-ees!

[Photo Credit: The Great Saul Leiter]

A few things we knew going into this last game with Houston:

1. Carlos Correa is a helluva hitter. His homers have mad hops.
2. When healthy, Mark Teixeira’s homers have mad hops, too.
3. It’s kinda cold outside.

Knowing that, we had time to speculate a little further about the near future. Starlin Canostro (hat tip to GaryfromChevyChase), our newest budding star at second, is on a pretty good roll to start the season, considering that he’s playing off the position he started his career with.  Can he keep this up for a little while longer please? Will Nathan Eovaldi continue to evolve from where he left off with intriguing stuff that produced an occasional pearl before he was shut down last September? Can the rest of the lineup keep pace with the outburst they unleashed in last night’s prime time drama?

*(See answers below)

Eovaldi was, to say the least, kinda inconsistent. He zipped through the first inning on six pitches and he probably felt so bad about it that the next inning he struggled through the next inning on 38 pitches, spotting Houston three runs on a long double, followed by back-to-back jacks by Tyler White and Preston Tucker. I’m gonna have to assume that they are part of Houston’s revitalization plan from when they stunk for several years, carefully cultivated for the day when they and Correa and perhaps a few more could be unleashed and strike fear in the AL.  Maybe not, I dunno.  But it did show that Eovaldi still has some work to do coming back from his ouchies from last season; no time like the present. Yet, I’m also hoping that the Yankees are also establishing a trend of their own by fighting back when their down, kinda like how all those teams from the 90s into the early part of the millennium did.  They managed to get a run back on a sac fly by Headley, scoring Teixeira from third, followed next inning by a double by Ellsbury which scored Didi (who is continuing to hit and get on base).  The game was close again going into the fourth, but Eo gave up a two-run single to White.  This probably would have been a problem any other time, but this is Game Three at the start of the season and the Yanks seem to have a tiger in their tank; first McCann led off with a solo shot to right, then two outs later Castro smacked one deep over the left field wall for another run.  Ah, down by one, come back and watch why don’t cha…

At this point, Eo was cruising through the fifth inning, retiring the side on 12 pitches.  However, because of that second inning, his pitch count was in the red zone and his night was over; 94 pitches over five with 5 runs, 7 Ks and no walks.  Not bad, but not necessarily that good either; fairly inconsistent and staring at a loss for his efforts.  But the lineup bailed him out tonight, with A-Rod singling in Ellsbury to tie the score, and there it remained with five apiece through the top of the seventh.

Anybody get a good look at this guy Kirby Yates? The box scores says he acquitted himself rather well in the sixth, going through a tough part of the lineup and giving up only a single sandwiched in between a fly-out and two strikeouts.  If I could have seen him, I’d wonder what his body language was showing, because I guarantee the bullpen’s gonna need more results like that going forward.  Chasen Shreve started the seventh and also acquitted himself well,  keeping the score tied into the bottom half of the Seventh.

Hero Time.  Tonight’s guest: Mark Teixeira.

After Ellsbury grounded out, Gardner singled to right and Houston brought in last night’s reliever of note Ken Giles.  After getting A-Rod to chase two, he somehow managed to single to center. Tex was next hitting from the left side, and after watching a ball go by, he lashed out and poked one near the end of his bat the opposite way. Was it enough?

Tonight, in the beginning of a new season, with so many questions about himself, about the lineup, about starting pitching and even about the bullpen… tonight, it was.

Tonight, Betances came in and held down Houston like an Eight Inning Man™ should.  Tonight, giving up a couple of singles with his left hand while ignoring the pain in his right wasn’t a bad thing, because Andrew Miller used his left hand to strike out three to close the game and seal the win.  Tonight, the third of at least eighty (and hopefully more), here in a pearly open backyard palace in a usually snarled part of the boogie down, it is what it was. Just another game.

*Basically, yep.